Wednesday, August 04, 2004

(6 sonnets) WHAT AMERICAN CANDIDATE COULD HAVE BEEN [VERSION 1]


VIEWERSHIP:
USA TODAY / American Candidate episode #1 / 128,000 viewers (yes, thousand) 84% falloff from preceding movie "Legally Blonde 2"


RHETORICAL VERSE /
SIX (software-verifiable) SHAKESPEAREAN-FORM SONNETS
and ONE HAIKU



{ACS.010_01} PERHAPS THE POINT is "everybody knows"
{ACS.010_02} this exercise is pointless. Why tune in
{ACS.010_03} between the real election's sweaty toes
{ACS.010_04} to see some unknown runners try to win ...

{ACS.010_05} ... a race that does not sound
more fun to watch
{ACS.010_06} than all the spinach-eating since last year.
{ACS.010_07} Ten Democrats did not much scratch the crotch
{ACS.010_08} of our attention. It would take free beer ...

{ACS.010_09} ... and naked-hottie candidates to lure
{ACS.010_10} us to this game. What 'er the hell it is.
{ACS.010_11} Yeah, what the hell is this we should endure
{ACS.010_12} with no commercials to go do our biz?

{ACS.010_13} No, watching Showtime, you can't take a piss.
{ACS.010_14} Before we suffer, tell us what'll we miss?



{ACS.011_01} LET'S NOT start from what Cutler chose to do.
{ACS.011_02} INSTEAD, LET US IMAGINE what might be.
{ACS.011_03} Yeah, yeah, I know. "IMAGINATION?" You?
{ACS.011_04} Yeah, you. Go grab a six-pack. Then let's see.

{ACS.011_05} With three beers in our belly, close your eyes.
{ACS.011_06} Now belch and tell me what's a president?
{ACS.011_07} I think you're right. Another six-pack lies
{ACS.011_08} in our near future. Then we'll make a dent ...

{ACS.011_09} ... in this profoundly stupid waste of time.
{ACS.011_10} Just kidding. No, the obvi'us place to start.
{ACS.011_11} What is a president? What hill they climb?
{ACS.011_12} What skill do they possess ... beyond to fart ...

{ACS.011_13} ... and lay the blame on someone else,
of course.
{ACS.011_14} If they are riders, tell me, what's their horse?



{ACS.012_01} OR HORSES. Maybe sev'ral they must ride
{ACS.012_02} in sequence, without (too much) falling off.
{ACS.012_03} A bareback relay race in which you slide
{ACS.012_04} batons to your own hands. I hear that cough ...

{ACS.012_05} ... that says you don't know
what the hell I mean.
{ACS.012_06} You're handing off to you -- just further on.
{ACS.012_07} Though some folks have fore-hands to intervene
{ACS.012_08} and make their legs a shorter stretch of lawn.

{ACS.012_09} THE KEY is that the presidential race
{ACS.012_10} is decades in the running ... That takes wind.
{ACS.012_11} Some of your own. Some totally by grace.
{ACS.012_12} By way of laws beyond what we amend.

{ACS.012_13} Is there a ten-week game to simulate
{ACS.012_14} the running of your destiny, your fate?




{ACS.013._01} While you lay dreaming
(bored by this to sleep) {smile}
{ACS.013._02} imagine that there is a game like that.
{ACS.013._03} What does the board look like?
Who takes the leap
{ACS.013._04} into the op'ning move. Who gets a hat ...

{ACS.013._05} ... to toss into the public square to play?
{ACS.013._06} Who chooses who can play
and what's the game?
{ACS.013._07} Who chooses if those choices are OK?
{ACS.013._08} Those questions conjure up a diff'rent dame ...

{ACS.013._09} ... than who you thought you're dancing
'round the room
{ACS.013._10} while dreaming of the game of president.
{ACS.013._11} She's asking "why ask why" --
her sweet perfume
{ACS.013._12} reminds you that you've got to pay the rent ...

{ACS.013._13} ... just disregard the eyes behind the screen
{ACS.013._14} who call the tunes you dance,
and what they mean.



{ACS.014_01} WAKE UP. Yes, you. It's time to tell the score.
{ACS.014_02} The dream you had will tell you all you need
{ACS.014_03} to figure out all things to know and more.
{ACS.014_04} The Game. What is the game of "how to lead" ...

{ACS.014_05} ... the horses to the water, and then drink?
{ACS.014_06} (Yes, disregard the proverb that we learned.)
{ACS.014_07} The game we see on Showtime sure does stink;
{ACS.014_08} The game that put it there ... to be discerned ...

{ACS.014_09} ... is nothing about horses, or the well.
{ACS.014_10} THE POWER GAME determines what you see
{ACS.014_11} on TV and in life. What flows propel
{ACS.014_12} boats down the stream that's called REALITY.

{ACS.014_13} The score that Showtime earns depends on you.
{ACS.014_14} Will you believe the BULLSHIT of the few?



{ACS.015_01} I guess we won't, regarding Cutler's lines.
{ACS.015_02} Some mighty puny numbers lent their eyes
{ACS.015_03} to his first episode. Though Chrissy's wines
{ACS.015_04} got heavy praise by some
who are deemed wise ...

{ACS.015_05} ... by those who choose those
who won't rock the boat.
{ACS.015_06} In that aside is all you need to know
{ACS.015_07} about the way things are. Why that your vote
{ACS.015_08} is nothing but a way for you to show ...

{ACS.015_09} ... you're buying that ol' BULLSHIT
that they spread.
{ACS.015_10} Yes, Rock the Vote, you bullshit-eating youth.
{ACS.015_11} And ev'ry Democrat who's now been led
{ACS.015_12} to cast their vote for Kerry. Not for truth.

{ACS.015_13} There's no way that a TV game can be
{ACS.015_14} more than more bullshit. Scuse me, got to pee.


# # #


HAIKU CODA

A long way to go

to say there's nothing to say,

but that won't stop us! {smile}